St. Simons Island
December 19th, 1861
My dearest wife,
I received your letter of the 13th on yesterday when in Brunswick. My first impulse on reading it was to take the cars for home; but cruel fate that would keep a husband separated from his poor little sick wife. I would have been with you as soon as I could have gone, but could not get a leave of absence. Had you not added the clause that 'you hoped you would be well enough to be up tomorrow' I should have gone without any leave. But I feared to risk it. You see if I had gone, and found you well I would have subjected myself to be court-martialed and perhaps been expelled from service. But dearest wife I am one of the most unhappy fellows in the world and will be so, until I hear that you are well. I feel it is true, that I have certain obligations to perform in discharging my duty by fighting for my country. But dearest what are those duties when compared to those I owe to you. They sink into perfect insignificance. I believe I am about as patriotic as most of men, but not so much so, as to be willing to sacrifice my wife. You know that we both took a voluntary oath to forsake all the world for each other. So you see even though we were inclined to favor our country most, I should think we do not. Now wife if you are not well when you get this letter I want you to write me and if I can't get a leave of absence I will go without one and see if my own people have lost all feeling for humanity, and sunk so low in the scale of despotism as to cashier a husband for going home to see his own dear little pet when she is sick. If they have I do not care to serve any longer for such a cold-hearted, ungrateful country. I know that you and my little Eula both miss me very much because I miss you and her, and of course the same feelings that exist in one exist in the other. I think of the happiness that awaits me on the bosom of my fond wife and almost hate the glorious cause I am contending for, because it has separated me from you. You must take good care of your dear self my own pet love. If you love me take good care of my little pet wife, and my baby. Now dearest I will write you a letter on business that you may read for the old folks. Goodbye darling. Tell Eula to be a good girl till Papa comes.
Your dear boy, Nate.
Dec. 19th, 1861
Well dear wife I am going to write you a business letter for once in my life. First of all I must vindicate myself in regard to the sending of 'Tom's' bale of Negro cloth [1]. Tell him if the cloth was not sent to blame Mr. Mumford's Dick. You know I got to Waynesville very late, and thought the cars would be along every minute as I was afraid to go so far from the depot for fear I would be left. And Dick was at the platform so I told Dick to go and tell Mr. Mumford to put Tom's package in the cars and tell Tedd to carry it home. Now for the salt. One sack of that was at Mr. Mumford's and the other I found at old Mr. Highsmith's after Tedd had left and told Robert to drive around after it. When you write I wish you would tell me whether both sacks were received or not.
Tell Pa if he has not sold the bale of cotton bagging to Mr. Reddick that Uncle 'Alex' will take it and pay 40 cts. cash for it. I will write Mills Drury to send after it. I went to Brunswick yesterday to collect my money. I will send you and Pa $150 by the first opportunity I have which I hope will be in a few days. You must give my love to all and kiss Ma for me. I am sorry I have not time to write you any more, but the boat will leave in a few minutes and I must close in time to send this by it. Give love to all.
I remain your affect. husband
N. A. Brown
[1] Negro cloth - this was plain, coarse cloth woven mainly in Northeastern textile mills and sold to plantation owners in the South for slave clothing.
From: Slave Cloth and Clothing Slaves: Craftsmanship, Commerce, and Industry:
http://www.mesdajournal.org/2012/slave-cloth-clothing-slaves-craftsmanship-commerce-industry/
'Cloth sold for distribution to slaves might be all cotton, cotton and wool, or all wool, depending on the season. Goods sold to slave owners designated as “Slave cloth,” “Negro cloth,” or “Plantation cloth” were always inexpensive and durable rather than comfortable or fashionable. The common descriptors for these fabrics were “coarse” and “stout.”'
' The commerce of slave cloth held many ironies. Enslaved cotton plantation workers raised, harvested, ginned, and baled raw cotton to send to local, northern, and European spinning, knitting, and weaving mills. They then received back the finished cloth and clothing that marked them as slaves. Many individuals ignored or suppressed their consciences or principles in the pursuit of profit.'